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About Mubarak Al-Kabeer

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I wake up, right? Sun’s blazin’ through my window on Al-Fintas Street. I’m like, “Great, another scorcher.” I grab my gear, head out, and boom! I step right into a street vendor’s cart. Dude’s sellin’ shawarma, and I’m like, “Bro, I just wanted to breathe!” But hey, I snagged a free bite. Not bad, right?

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